


AGENT

by junbaitarashian



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Ficlet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-28
Updated: 2012-11-28
Packaged: 2017-11-19 17:33:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/575836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junbaitarashian/pseuds/junbaitarashian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Jun won't hesitate again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	AGENT

Jun has learned to accepted it, much like anyone in his profession. Never thinks twice about pulling the trigger, never hesitates, and carries out each assignment without a question. Jun never thinks about who his target is anymore; whether a father, a mother, a sister or a brother, a son or a daughter. All that matters is to eliminate the target and complete the mission and in the crucial moments be ruthless and merciless and remember his training.

He tries to forget as soon as the job is done- and keeps no record of it in his memory as soon as the paper work is finished and turned in. He goes about his normal day. He says hello to his neighbors down the hall in apartment 8b, who are ignorant of the lethal horror that he is. They ask about his day sometimes and he will smile his charming smile like nothing and comment on the weather. After long missions, when he returns home and after a long bath to wash away any sort of wavering doubt of the life he has chosen, he frequents the cafe down the street- catches up on his reading like any sort of loitering adult would do with too much time on their hands.-sips on his coffee and passes his time like any normal civilian would do and doesn't think about the mission he has just returned from and all the people that died in the process -target or comrades.

He keeps the memories and details of his assignments locked and buried in the dark recess of his mind, where his conscious won't reach them and compromise another mission in a crucial moment. It has only ever happened once before. It has been his only mistake and one that he will never make again. He will never hesitate again.

Though some times in the dead of night -much like this night - when the thunder rumbles and lightning strikes and seems to seep into his sleep, he stirs and turns at the horrific dreams of the things he has done in the name of justice.

A justice he no longer questions.

In the helplessness of his subconscious he dreams of reds and bright hissing lights. Hears the screams and pleas of mercy, the mewling from agonizing pain after the pull of a trigger. He only shoots twice only to end the sound of whimpers and moans sooner.

He watches bodies fall to the ground with a nasty thud. Watches himself at a distance pull the trigger. Then there is red. Red all over . On the walls, on the floor, on his clothes, on his hands- spilling from lifeless bodies. Bodies with faces horrendously contorted with the evidence of the pain felt moments before their end. Dead by his hand. His doing.

It's a wretched scene to witness and he can feel his insides turning and trying to force themselves up his throat. He brings his hand up to his mouth and it's all he can do to stop himself from heaving and emptying all the contents in his stomach ... and he watches himself- expressionless, looming over the bodies with no remorse as he wipes his hands with the inside of his tie and replaces his gun in the holster. He watches in horror at what he is, but the scream of terror never comes. Only acceptance of what he has become settles in him, and then the dream fades out.

When Jun wakes up in the morning he won't think much about the red and the deafening sound of a bullet exiting the barrel. He won't think much about the man or the woman he is sent out to kill. Is he a father? Is she a daughter? It won't matter, orders are orders and a conscious has no place in the field of his profession. When Jun wakes up he won't think of the stench of blood or the metallic taste of iron that always lingers in his mouth. He won't think of hesitating or about the love his hesitation once cost him.

When Jun wakes up in the morning he won't think much about what he knows he has become.


End file.
